it's like horror porn!
Friday, July 23, 2004 at 09:00AM So, my little brother, the math/science genius of the clan (who is, coincidentally, 7 years my junior and took physics at his special smart kid school the same year I was taking it in high school), finagled a full scholarship to college. Woo-hoo! Also, the third National Merit Scholar in the family, by the way…third in a row, actually, my older brother, then me, then my younger brother. Hah-hah. Genetics. I remember being pissed that I didn’t get an actual scholarship to UPS, though, because they do this ridiculous thing where you have to indicate your “first choice” school on your test and if you don’t pick the school you end up going to, you don’t get any money, which is fucking bullshit. But then, again, one might say that giving people money for scoring well on a standardized test with the word “Practice” in front of it is bullshit.
Does the fact that Martha Stewart is going to prison freak anyone else out? I mean, if you discount the fact that sometimes I think impure thoughts about Martha, it feels like my mom is getting sent to the big house, but even worse because if Martha Stewart had been my mother, I would have had much better snacks. And probably a massive inferiority complex. And a substantial lack of student loans. Now, clearly, I don’t really believe that Martha is being persecuted because she’s a powerful woman; that’s a total sack of crap argument. I think it’s more appropriate to say that perhaps the feds were looking for a high profile poster child for the evils of insider trading and that her prosecution may have more to do with her being wealthy and famous than any actual crimes, but I doubt it has anything to do with the “woman” part of businesswoman. From what I can tell, though, (and most of my information is coming from Slate, which one can hardly call an unbiased source) these are totally trumped-up charges. She wasn’t convicted of insider trading because they couldn’t fucking prove that she was guilty, so they got her on “lying to the government” instead. Basically, she’s going to prison for lying about a crime—of which she wasn’t convicted. Does that make any fucking sense? And the best part is that she’s supposed to have lied in her “testimony” to federal agents—but there is no record of her testimony, not audio, not video, but rather the handwritten notes of an FBI Agent who actually testified in open court that her notes may have been unreliable. Huh. I’m a little horrified by the fact that OJ is playing golf somewhere and Martha Stewart is going to prison for 5 months.
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