i love you on your best behavior
Friday, August 6, 2004 at 12:43AM Okay, okay, okay. I know I said I would post no longer about the topic mentioned previously here, here and here. I’m not sorry for what I said or for what I think and I’m not going to take any of it back. I would, however, like to point out that I do feel a little badly that the dialogue continued for so long for what basically amounted to me being stubborn. Yeah. The accused and his girlfriend (ex?girlfriend?) are in a tight spot and I’m sure the extra attention must be an unnecessary burn (which is, after all, why, at the girlfriend’s behest, I stopped posting and responding to comments about the whole deal).
After I had made up my mind about the whole thing, the girlfriend wrote a heartbreaking letter to The Stranger, calling for a cease fire and implying that not only is her story true but that the guy is a serial abuser. I received many more emails explaining that even though they now believe that there was abuse, it is still “none of my business” and I should shut up about it.
Well. That is, well, that’s horseshit. Absolute horseshit. H-O-R-S-E-S-H-I-T. How is a violent crime (I’m sorry, an alleged violent crime) NOT a public event? And if it is a public event, how is it none of my business? Should CNN.com not be reporting on, oh say, Scott Peterson? If I were to post that I thought he was guilty and that I hoped he goes to prison for murdering his wife and unborn child, would I be wrong and awful and invading his privacy? It’s the exact same thing—I don’t know for sure either way whether either person is guilty or innocent, so what makes it different? I’m sure that if I were saying that I thought he was totally innocent, my detractors would be all about me, yo, and it’s a two-way street. As I said to Jason Gough when he refused to accept stolen cake on principle after having previously accepted other forms of purloined goods: “You, my friend, live in a world of double standards.” I am sorry if you think that this is unfair or whatever, but this “none of my business” line is bullshit and everyone knows it. Hey, maybe it will turn out that the girlfriend is a big, fat, crazy liar, and if it does, I will be the first to admit that I was wrong, but it’s ridiculous to think that anyone should get some sort of special treatment because this is a “personal issue” or to believe that maintaining silence about domestic violence is going to “help” anything.
I got an e-mail from someone claiming to be the accused and I am not gonna lie to you here—It gave me the wiggins. I asked a few friends whether they thought I should ignore it or respond and all but one was of the “totally respond!” school. The other one (with whom I realized I had never actually discussed the issue) responded angrily, telling me that I should leave it alone because it’s none of my business. He went on to tell me that I am “totally crazy” and that I “actually think that [I] am involved in this.” He asked if I needed to write about it to “feel important.” He wouldn’t talk to me (this was all via text messaging) and he wouldn’t respond with anything other than “it’s none of your business, stop talking about it” and wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. I need to write about it to feel important? what does that even mean? This is my weblog—I AM important here, I’m like the Queen of this spot of cyberspace. And I think I’m involved in this? In what? Like, in the abuse? What? That doesn’t even make sense. I’m involved in my online journal, yes, but I don’t see how that is crazy or wrong. Can anyone explain what this means? I don’t see how it’s crazy to a) see a news story and talk about it and b) want to discuss how I have been receiving loads of detracting emails.
Yeah. I was thinking about what my friend said and I remembered that he is good friends with someone who is friendly with the accused, if that makes sense. Consequently, I came to a conclusion that I hadn’t reached previously. Hithertofore, I had been grouping people in my mind into two camps: those who agreed with me and those who didn’t, but I was looking at it all wrong. Sort of. It’s more like there are people who understand my point of view…and people who don’t, and the people who don’t are friendly with or friends with those who are friends of the accused. That’s fucking bullshit! Of course someone with a personal connection is going to feel differently about the situation and I think that might be called “bias.” I’m not really sure though and I could be wrong, after all, I am exceedingly stupid. I am, however, not alone. There are plenty of people who agree with me and I’m willing to bet that it’s not because they callous or evil or somehow less compassionate—it’s because they are less willing to give someone accused of a violent crime leeway because they think he’s good people.
But, whatever. I think the real issue here is that I don’t understand why anyone gives a shit what I write on my stupid, crappy online journal. What does anyone care? Moreover, if you don’t think I have a right to talk about it and that I should stop writing about it, uh, a really simple solution would be to shut up and go away. Does this make any sense? Fuel on the fire, guys. The thing is, if no one had responded calling me a liar or other mean things or questioned my motivations or sources, there would have been one entry. The first one. C’est tout. There’s no dialogue without a second or third or seventh voice. If you think I shouldn’t be talking about it, then why INSIST ON TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT? It’s like when you grab your little brother’s hand and make him hit himself and you’re all “WHY are you hitting yourself?!?!” Except that game was fun and this game is silly and pointless.
But honestly. If reading my opinion bothers you, stop reading, dumbass. It may be hard to believe, but if I may borrow a phrase from Dr. Danskin, my online diary doesn’t have voodoo magic that FORCES people to read it against their will. Much as I’d like that to be true.
Reader Comments (15)
b) you should change your blog sub-title to "why are you hitting yourself?!?!?!"
c) well-played, will-rob.
maybe he thinks that like you're grandstanding or something...or like you only write about it because you want people to come read it? i don't really follow. i never got the impression that you cared if anyone read it or not.
P.S. Thank you thank you thank you dumbasses for giving WAMPIRE something other than work to do on a rainy Friday! KEEP IT UP!
Also, I would like to point out that child pornography is very upsetting to me. I don't want to see it, or read about it or discuss it. Therefore, I don't search for it on the internet repeatedly and then look at it, read about it and discuss it all the time.