don't blame me, *i* voted for kodos

Oh my god, this is such bullshit.  I skipped denial and went straight to anger last night, but luckily for my co-workers, I’m kind of hanging out in the bargaining stage and haven’t fired anyone out of spite.  I’ve been telling myself that if I stop clicking over to CNN every 6 seconds, something wondrous will happen when I’m not paying attention.  Oh, what I wouldn’t give for an early Chrismukkah miracle.  *Or* wizards.  Are any of you guys wizards?  Because I know you have to be careful about maintaining equilibrium and like, not using your powers for personal gain or whatever, but I think this may be in the best interests of the universe.  

This is the thing: I fucking hate waiting, man.  Whatever the opposite of patient is, I am that.  I supposed that would be “impatient.”  You see that this is doing to me?  I am having trouble with words.  I am a wordsmith, man, this is where I eat—I should not have to scour the inside of my skull for words I could spell in the 2nd grade.  I don’t get it.  So Sen. Kerry conceded?  Yes—but at this point, some sources claim that it is still statistically possible for him to take Ohio even though it’s been called for President Bush and…well, Tom Brokaw said the President has it locked up, so I guess it must be true.  Right?  Or are we still supposed to wait until all those provisional ballots are tallied? Oh, fuckernuts. I broke my bargain and went to CNN and the headline reads “BUSH WINS.” I shall now commence hoping for the best.  Here’s an upside:  I now have a perfectly valid impetus for a rapid descent into alcoholism.  During tomorrow night’s second season premiere of The OC, I’ve got a couple of 40’s with my name written all over them.  Oh, Seth, will you ever win?

Ultimately, the only thing of which I am certain  is that despite historical drives for voter registration, the youth vote did not turn out as expected.  Congratulations, assholes. Now we’re all fucked—but hey, at least Puff Daddy isn’t coming to kill me.  Sleep tight, poppets. 

Comments

[Avi]

I really, really, really fucking thought we were going to take this, man. I'm kind of in denial at present.

[Annie]

I am, in fact, a wizard. Sadly, I lack the powet to turn back time. I can, perhaps, whip up a sleeping spell to cast over all the land until such time as a handsome prince named barack obama realizes his full power.

[Heather]

I'm hoping I can sleep through the next four years and wake in time for the Clinton-Obama ticket in 2008.

And dude, don't get my hopes up like that - The O.C. premiere isn't until TOMORROW!!

[christopher]

i am still laughing about the sean penn dialogue in your previous entry. there has got to be some way for you to work "IS THAT MY DAUGHTER IN THERE!?!?!?!" into every post you have.

also: this sucks ASS. how--how could anyone in good conscience vote for that man? AGAIN?!>

[ahe]

oops, my bad on the oc. i think i just really, really wished i had something to look forward to tonight. oh wait--I DO! it's totally okay to get shit-faced while watyching america's next top model, no? i'd watch the west wing too, but that fucking hack john wells will just depress me further.

[Mali]

is it wrong that every election that rolls around makes me quote that halloween episiode of the simpsons you used?

i'll vote for a third party candidate!
--go ahead, throoooow your vote awaaaay!

[jordan]

my feelings are still a bit raw after this whole election debacle, so i shall refrain from commenting on it.

however, whan you say "oh, fuckernuts?" is that a vulgarization of the elf expletive "puckernuts?"

[Heather]

Oh man did I ever have to go get some beer last night just to handle the tension. And now I, too, shall drown my sorrows while watching ANTM!! WOO HOO!!! What Apocalypse?

[Avi]

So where are all of you hip youngsters heading? I don't want to show up in France if all the cool kids are going to Canada.

[Ahe]

OMG, jordan, you fucking nerd. heidi sakuma and i were the only people in the world to say "fuckernuts" because that was skywise's epithet of choice, minus the obscenity. NERD.

[Jonas]

Wait, wait, wait...was that a ElfQuest ref? Old skool.

New Zealand might be nice, France is the obvious choice, and the dollar goes farther in both Canada and Mexico while remaining close enough to dash over the border to vote in '08.

Losing sucked, seeing Laurie Anderson tonight helped quite a bit,Kerry conceding however was a kick in the junk I did not need. Big goofy lookin' flip floppin' jerk, way to stand up for the little guy. I think you took the wrong lesson out of Viet Nam, clue: It wasn't "Give up early".

[abby]

I love the title of this post.
"Um...People are a bit...confused as to why you and your opponent are...constantly holding hands."

[Liz]

If you know a better way to exchange protein strands, I'd like to hear it.

Yeah, I felt like puking when all the online news sources put up the big Bush Wins titles. It's awful to feel jilted by your regular webpages.

[Ahe]

Oh thank you guys for sharing in the Simpsons love--I am most impressed with Liz's memory for the line "If you know a better way to exchange protein strands, I'd like to hear it."

And, yeah, Jonas, ElfQuest. I was SO INTO that shit in grade school.

[Jonas]

Hell yah, I think most of my original ideas about romantic love come for those books (sad as that might be, but hey, I was young, I blame my parents). Still got the disintigrating OG graphic novels rotting in a corner someplace.

[ahe]

NO WAY!!!!! GIVE THEM TO ME!!!!

[Jonas]

What? For free? Har! Those are solid ebay gold..not that I'd flog my childhood artifacts on ebay...unless I was really hard up for crack money.

I'll try to remember to bring them out for T-day..so you can *borrow* them (just to be clear).

[ahe]

jonas, you and i will seriously be BFF after this.