waste of tape

Are you ready?  Okay, as previusly discussed, I failed, FAILED most heinously at last week’s Top Model predictions, so in order to re-gain the respect and adoration of my followers, I mean friends, I am going to go for the gold here by doing a full sweep of the next five eliminations and the final winner.  Insert image of Ahe Mr. Burnsing her hands and raising an eyebrow evilly. 

First down, Manchelle.  This one is easy, but it probably has more to do with her not being that good (especially after starting off strong) than with the fact that she has a penis.  Did I say “penis?”  I meant “Adam’s Apple.”  Because she’s a man, get it, huh, get it?  Is this thing on?

I’m going to go with Christina next because she has zero personality—and also because there are now too many white girls in the field and this will not do, oh no.

This leaves us with Keenyah, Naima, Kahlen and Brittany.  We’re approaching the point in the season when they really begin to edit the winner, and I’m sorry to say, but I am pretty certain that it shall be Kahlen.  Oh, look how awesome Kahlen is for going on with the graveyard photo shoot, even though her friend just died!  She is SO awesome and strong and kewl.  Keenyah, who is apparently putting on weight and not doing well in her shoots, will go 4th to last, leaving a Top Three of Brittany, Naima and Kahlen—a final two of a loud brunette and a more subdued blonde would be far too Cycle One, so Brittany will be out third, then Naima, leaving Kahlen at the top. 

So, to re-cap, the elimination order is as follows:

• Michelle
• Christina
• Keenyah
• Brittany
• Naima

with Kahlen winning and going on to an exciting life as world-famous, jet-setting, Surreal Life-starring, C-List celebrity.  I mean, supermodel.

The oracle has spoken.  And if the oracle is wrong, she will buy at least one of you a cookie.